Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
