Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
