Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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