some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
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