You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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