I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
