Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize