She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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