I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
