Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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