I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
