He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
