So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
