We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
