Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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