Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
