Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
