i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
