Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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