need another drink. this is the easiest way
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
