HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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