You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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