why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
