i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
