I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
