i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
