but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
