its not stalking. its research.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
