You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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