I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
