if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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