i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
