meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
