If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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