You're completely useless in the revolution.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize