why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
this boner is exhausting
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
