Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
