If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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