you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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