Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
