And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize