just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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