you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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