she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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