I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
