Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
