sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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