is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize