So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize