I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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