Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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