Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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