I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
