Operation Purity has been aborted
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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