it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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