She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
