she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
