I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
