I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
