what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
