I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
