why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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