sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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